Beginnings and Endings: 10 Lessons Before I Step Down
As Kate Bowler says, “Life is beautiful. Life is hard.” Here are some lessons I’ve learned over the last three years about savoring the beauty
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Only 25 percent of people older than 65 believe they will need any help in their later years, yet 70 percent do. The average senior needs some amount of help for the last eight years of life. Men need significant help for an average of 2.2 years and women for 3.6 years.
Consequently, when a health crisis strikes, adult children must step in. And frequently these adult children are already balancing full work lives while also raising children of their own. Furthermore, many live at a distance from their parents. Nearly 20 percent of elders have no family to call on.
How is one to respond wisely to multiple critical needs in what feels like a foreign country?
It’s a question I myself asked when balancing teaching full-time at Duke, raising three young children and helping care for my husband’s parents as they declined. What I learned through that experience, I wrote about for the New York Times. After Nana and Pop passed away, I returned to school to gain the certifications needed to help other families navigate the process. With wisdom.
My name is Liisa Ogburn (yes, that spelling is correct. I’m half Finnish) and my firm, Aging Advisors NC, helps individuals and their families plan for or respond to the needs that arise during the last years of life. I have worked with over 250 families, accompanied over 60 through end of life and written 360 columns on what I have learned along the way for WRAL’s Aging Well.
I intimately understand the needs, the resources available (free, low-cost and for a cost), how to navigate a hospitalization, rehab, leaving home, and choosing a retirement community (Independent Living, Assisted Living, Memory Care, Skilled Nursing, Family Care Homes, and Continuing Care Retirement Communities) from the 100+ options in the wider area. I have helped families with dementia, addiction issues, mood disorders, hoarding and complex family dynamics. I have helped people navigate Medicare, Medicaid and the Long Term Care Insurance claim process. I’m familiar with the many individuals and companies working in this space (from geriatric physicians to senior move managers, from elder estate attorneys to auction houses, from pharmacies offering senior medication packaging to handymen specializing in grab bars and ramps). We can speak by phone, Zoom, or I can come to your home (depending on distance).
Importantly, I am independent. I take no referral fees. References are available, on request.
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